Author Archive

Shame on du

Oh it gets better, far better! Latest shame is that the latest ‘updation’ given to the call centre staff is that 3.36Mbps is an acceptable delivery speed for their much vaunted 24Mbps ‘Real Broadband’ package. Unreal!


du still at it!

Oh, the irony!  Just noticed that the very inspiration for this blog are still at it, regarding customers as a resource to be harvested, rather than a source of business to be appreciated and respected.

Having commented in positive terms about their Real Broadband package, and actually subscribed, why am I surprised to be met with non-delivery of promised service, degradation of existing connection, clueless call centre staff providing venal platitudes instead of informed solutions. And to cap it all, the auto-reply email today reaffirms my status in the pecking order…

Dear Valuable Customer

Thank you for giving du the opportunity to be your operator of choice. It is our mission to give our customers the best possible experience at every point of interaction.

One of our customer care representatives will endeavor to attend to your inquiry within three working days.

Your satisfaction is extremely important to us.

Kind Regards,

عزيزي المشترك،

نشكر لك اختيارك لشبكة دو لتوفير خدمات الاتصال لديك. مهمتنا تقديم أفضل خدمة لعملائنا الكرام في كل عملية اتصال من قبلكم. سيقوم أحد موظفي خدمة العملاء بالرد على طلبكم خلال الثلاثة أيام عمل القادمة.

إرضائكم هدفنا،،

مع أطيب تحيات قسم خدمات العملاء

Worst ad ever? New candidate!

Worse, it is part of a campaign, one of a series of equally cringe-worthy shamefulness. Will I ever be able to go into a Home Centre store again? Probably not. Pity, because the recent redesign and new corporate makeover was elegantly done. The current radio advertising is anything but.

Categories: Uncategorized

Mashreq Al Islami – worst radio ad ever?

Shame on you, Mashreq Bank. The latest offering to assault the eardrums and pollute the airwaves of this fine city plumbs new depths of awfulness. Two young arab men hyperventilating about mortgage rates? Come on. Getting so excited they “must dial that number right away”? Get real.

As ever, the most astonishing part of the whole sorry affair is not actually the concept, which is risible, or the delivery, which is worse, but that nobody, not the creative team, not the account executive, not the client, not the radio station, not a single one of the people involved in this farago had the wit or wisdom to recognise how toe-curlingly awful the thing is.

Mashreq Bank – sack your agency now, then your own marketing department, and don’t spend another dirham on advertising until you’ve found someone who actually understands the imp0rtance of brand!

Categories: Uncategorized

HSBC. Not!

They’re getting more dangerous, these scams. This one got past my spam filter (though another identical one was rejected). The usual clues, bad grammar and odd addresses, both present and correct – look for the spelling error, and mouseover the link to reveal http.gaopay.scripts/xxxxxx – obviously NOT an HSBC address. Problem is, how many people know how to check, or even bother to be suspicious? Oh, and one other clue – I don’t even have an HSBC account!

Dear Customer
HSBC Bank is currently going through a detailed security upgrade.

  • Customers are advised to login to their account and update your Account Preferences.
  • Failure to do such will result to the deactivation of Account.
  • Be advised to enter all your account preference exactly the way you have it, so that we may update them properly.
Please (original Link disabled) to logon to your Account
If you need any further assistance, please contact your branch
Yours sincerely,
Categories: Uncategorized

More is Less!

From the ‘”I’ll believe it when I see it” category – telecoms provider du this morning advertised an offer to their existing (monopolised) domestic subscriber base, offering an upgrade to ‘real broadband’ services at 24Mbps. As I am currently paying an exorbitant rate for a notional 8Mbps service (rarely ever delivered), I thought I’d waste a minute or two and check it out.

Blow me – the package I’m currently paying for costs LESS after the upgrade.  So I signed up.  You can too  here. Check it out – saved me 98 dirhams for a trebling of capacity.

Categories: Uncategorized

The Chilling Reality of Debt in Dubai

A troubling insight into the real awfulness of debt in Dubai, a perfect storm of medieval laws, greedy banks and complacent authorities. Letter reprinted from 7Days newspaper commenting on a recent cause celebre about a man living rough in a Dubai park because of the actions of his bank.

Read it here

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